


Aaron Burr Has No Soul (Or Maybe He's A Robot)

by anotherfngrl



Series: The Stereotypical Office AU [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron Burr is So Done, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Dogs, Gay John Laurens, Gen, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, M/M, Modern Era, Office, Poor Aaron Burr, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27034993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherfngrl/pseuds/anotherfngrl
Summary: "A little known cosmic fact is that there were only ever 10 billion human souls produced. As the population slowly creeps upwards, the department of reincarnation struggles to find a workaround. You were not one of their better attempts."Or: Alexander Hamilton, ladies and gentlemen: Overdramatic Insult King and Adorable Office Distraction
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: The Stereotypical Office AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999999
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	Aaron Burr Has No Soul (Or Maybe He's A Robot)

**Author's Note:**

> @writing-prompt-s on Tumblr had the prompt:  
> A little known cosmic fact is that there were only ever 10 billion human souls produced. As the population slowly creeps upwards, the department of reincarnation struggles to find a workaround.
> 
> This is what I did with it.

"A little known cosmic fact is that there were only ever 10 billion human souls produced. As the population slowly creeps upwards, the department of reincarnation struggles to find a workaround. You were not one of their better attempts."

"Hamilton!" Washington exclaims from the doorway to Alex and Burr's shared office.

"Sir! I, um, didn't see you there! What can I do for you?" Hamilton says, his brief surprise rolling off of him with a charming smile.

"Why are you insulting Mr. Burr's soul?" Washington asks dangerously.

"He clearly doesn't have one," Hamilton says with a shrug.

"Ooh, this should be good." John appears, obviously bouncing on his toes to peek over their boss's shoulder.

Washington rubs his face, clearly regretting the question even as he asks it. "And what has led you to that conclusion, Alexander?" he asks.

"Watch this video. You'll see what I mean," Alex says, picking up his laptop and turning it toward his boss and his boyfriend where they're standing in the doorway.

"Hey, I can't see!" John complains, and Washington turns sideways to allow him into the office he shares with Burr and Hamilton.

Once they're both watching, Alex plays the video. It's adorable. A small white dog stands in front of two little doggie shirts. He picks one. Then he picks a tie, and glasses. Finally, he grins at the camera.

Washington makes it to the tie selection before cooing audibly at the laptop. John is basically baby talking to the dog the whole time, and by the time the dog smiles, showing his teeth proudly, he's making grabby hands at the screen, trying to take it from Alex.

When the video finishes, Alex closes his laptop with a decisive snap. "See, wasn't that adorable?" he demands.

"Yes, it was," Washington agrees.

"Play it again. I need to pet that dog. Does he have an Instagram?" John demands.

"We can watch it again later, and find his Instagram, I want to follow him too," Alex tells him.

"Adorable as the dog may be, that doesn't answer my question, Alex," Washington reminds him.

"I showed Burr the video. He didn't say a word!!! Anyone who could watch that without reacting must be some kind of robot, with no soul! You see?" Alex demands.

Washington sighs. "And what was Aaron doing when you showed him the video?" he asks tiredly.

Alex shrugs shiftily.

"Reading him the draft you wanted on your desk after lunch. He shoved his phone in my face and told me the dog would be a better office mate than me, because at least he makes bold fashion choices," Burr reports.

Washington raises his eyebrows, turning to look at Alex disbelievingly.

"Burr's never made a bold choice in his life!" Alex defends himself.

Washington sighs again. "Be grateful for that. I'm constantly afraid his first bold act is going to be throwing you out a window. Now, get back to work, and stop tormenting your office mate," Washington instructs, turning to leave.

Alex sticks his tongue out at Burr. "See? It's adorable. And the introduction is weak. State our point then justify it. Going the other way around sounds like we aren't sure we're right."

"Thank you," Burr says with a long suffering sigh, turning back to his own screen to make the change.

Alex and John promptly ignore him, going back to the video. Alex sits down at his desk and John props himself up on the corner, the laptop turned between them.

"How old do you think he is? He looks like a puppy! But he can't be a baby, they've clearly trained him," John muses.

"I don't know, I'm having trouble finding anything but this clip. It's been shared with all references to the original poster removed," Alex says, frustrated.

"What?" John demands, furious. "That's just cruel."

Alex sits back, defeated. "I tried reverse searching him. Lots of adorable dogs, but not this one."

"I'm in love and I don't even know his name!" John announces dramatically.

"It's Bear. He's about to be a year old, and his Instagram is @bearistheword. Now can we please get back to work?" Burr asks, not looking at them.

Alex scrambles for his phone, pulling up the page. "How?" he demands. "I couldn't find anything!"

"I recognized the clip. I followed him months ago," Burr tells them matter of factly. "If you think that's cute, you should see the Halloween costumes they're deciding between."

Alex stares at him. "You… you… you!"

Burr finally looks up. "Yes, Alex?" he asks. "As you can see, I'm working."

"You'd seen the video before?" Alexander demands.

"Yes. I watch his videos during my downtime. Right now, it is work time. Hence, the working," Burr reminds him.

"You! Ughhhh!" Alex screams in frustration. He storms out of the office, leaving two bemused men in his wake.

"So, do you want me to take a look at the draft?" John offers.

"Yes, please. I've tweaked the intro, but I'd love your thoughts before I run it past Alex one more time. If he comes back," Burr says.

"I think he's just gone to get coffee. And deal with the existential shift you've just caused for him by not being immune to all charms," John explains, coming around Burr's desk to read over his shoulder.

"I'm not immune to all charms. I'm not even immune to your boyfriend's charms. If I were, I'd have taken one of the dozens of excuses he's given me to file a formal workplace grievance with HR," Burr says.

"What?" Alex demands from the doorway, having returned with a mug of coffee. They must be running low on mugs- Alex's desk contains at least five, just from this morning.

"You're adorable. And brilliant. You're also the single biggest distraction in the office," Burr tells him flatly.

Alex crows. "See, John? I'm adorable! Even Burr thinks so, and he's a robot!"

"And one of the biggest distractions in the office," John reminds him, pulling him over. "Now hush and help us finish this," he orders. Alex opens his mouth to reply, and John kisses him briefly to stop him. "I said hush. Help Burr. You've just found out he likes you, you don't want to totally alienate him now."

"I guess you have a point," Alex admits. He reads quickly, reaching around Burr to type a few small tweaks.

As he's typing, he asks, "So, Aaron, does this mean you want to join our group chat?"

John has to turn away, but it's no use. He's shaking with silent laughter as he does a terrible job covering it with his hand.

Burr would sit back, but Alex is pressed against the back of his chair, with his arms on either side of Aaron, typing. So he just sighs.

"Yes, Alex. If we get this to Washington on time, I will join your group chat. I will even share cute animal gifs."

Alex hits print with a flourish, exclaiming, "Yes!"

Across the office space, as the printer whirrs to life outside his door, Washington wonders if he should go explore the reason for the loud noise from down the hall, then decides against it. Hercules and Lafayette will be back from their meeting soon. As long as Madison can keep Jefferson in their office instead of tormenting Alex, it's probably better not to risk upsetting the delicate balance of the afternoon. After all, however dysfunctional they are, his staff are the best around.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the gif that inspired this:  
> https://gif.movingrightnow.com/i-alway-choice-my-outfit%E2%9C%8C%ef%b8%8f%E2%9C%8C%ef%b8%8f%E2%9C%8C%ef%b8%8f%F0%9F%A4%A3%F0%9F%A4%A3/
> 
> The instagram is made up because I share John's need to follow this dog!! If you recognize him, let me know where from!


End file.
